As we head towards the Thanksgiving holiday in the US, there is a strong focus on the concept of gratitude. Giving thanks for what we have, and bringing our attention to what is good in our lives.

Gratitude can be spoken in words, and in my work I like to apply the framework of creativity by offering the opportunity to make art from a place of gratitude (a gratitude dance, poem, etc.). We can also sense gratitude in our bodies, which might register as a feeling of joy or spaciousness. If you would like to explore the concept of creative gratitude, and haven’t already tapped into my 10 Day Creative Gratitude Practice, you can start the journey here.

Making a gratitude list can be a daily spiritual practice for many people and/or is used as a buffer to negative thinking and inner pain. In this vein, gratitude can turn things around in our minds when we feel bogged down by a difficult situation, expanding our perspective and offering a place to rest outside of the struggle.

Cultivating gratitude is a very useful framework, AND on the flip side, I have found that I can’t force myself into gratitude as this can be a way to override emotions or bypass needs. During this time of the year, despite all the busyness of life and the holiday time, a melancholy can be present as many people I know are experiencing loss, being reminded of loved ones who have passed, or can feel loneliness around holiday celebrations. It is a fine-tuned dance to not lose sight of what is precious in our lives while also tending to the feelings that need to be acknowledged.

Recently, I was doing some errands at the end of a busy day and I was listening to the dreamy and soulful music of Lilly Bechtel. As the music flooded my car, sadness rushed in. My life is full of incredible things to be grateful for, and the truth is that there are many layers of grief that I continue to experience. This includes feelings of sadness around the loss of my father many years ago that have resurfaced since I moved to the East Coast, continuing to miss friends and my lifestyle in San Francisco, and conflicted emotions about getting older.

I often talk about the concept of ‘"both / And" in my work. A very helpful tool in growth and healing is to accept the reality of the physical/emotional/life situation that is difficult to grapple with (on the one hand) without judging ourselves or thinking it should be different. And (on the other hand) finding the willingness to change, and where appropriate take responsibility for our behaviors and choices. 

If I metaphorically hold both hands (you can literally hold your hands in front of you while doing this exercise), I can identify the pain and emotional difficulty of the present moment, while also being grateful for all that is beautiful in my life. Life is complex, we are complex, and what I treasure about the creative process is how potently art in all of its forms can express the complexity of being human.

Are you grappling with loss or a painful reality in your life? 

Might you need to cultivate a mindset of gratitude at this stage of your growth?

How can creativity hold you in the complexity of your humanity?

 

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The music I mention above is by a local musician here in Charlottesville, Lilly Bechtel, with her band Night Teacher. Her latest album, ‘Year of the Snake’ was just released. You can stream Lilly’s album on Spotify. FIND IT HERE. I highly recommend!