During some of the most destabilizing times of my life, I went to see a Somatic (Body-Based) Psychotherapist. Back in 2005, I had a very painful and disillusioning break with a spiritual mentor, and then my husband Eddie started going through lung cancer treatment. Two years later Eddie passed away, and not long after my father suffered a sudden heart attack that took his life. I felt devastated and disoriented as the world had changed inside and out.

For me, being in grief, and navigating these difficult life-changing experiences felt metaphorically like swimming in murky, deep waters. It was tiring and scary, and there were times when I was bracing myself just to get through it all. This bracing did not allow me to breathe and sustain my energy which was required to continue to show up for life.

A concept that was offered to me at this time was to metaphorically leave the ‘deep waters’ in favor of the shallow end in order to shore up for rest and nourishment.

Shoring up brought needed relief and it also gave way to an incredible growth period. I started to learn how to regulate my nervous system, finding safe resources in my own body despite the pain and uncertainty. My somatic therapist, Teresa, was well versed in Somatic Experiencing and other trauma-informed methods. Week by week she helped me incorporate these tools into my life. Bit by bit I could support myself when I fell into feelings of despair or extreme overwhelm.

Positive resourcing gave me the opportunity to lean into simple pleasures. I engaged in activities that gave me perspective, and enjoyed healthy distractions which essentially gave me the opportunity to gain energy to continue on the grief journey. I was actively dancing Argentine dance at the time which gave my mind a rest. I also took time for tea and nourishing meals with friends. I walked in nature, made visual art in various forms, baked sweets, and watched movies and shows that helped me escape into other realities.

And, as grief goes, I inevitably found myself back in the deep waters to as emotions would rush in, and the waves that would move through me.

At times I felt a strong internal push to be more creative, to produce art as I knew I wanted to develop a grief project. I also had impulses to make sweeping changes in my life to get away from the discomfort and deflect my inner pain. But it wasn’t time for this - I needed to stay in as good shape as possible to move through the layers of change and loss. 

Eventually I was able to find the strength to swim to the other shore; I wasn’t treading water in the deep end of grief anymore. Life expanded again as did my art (I finally got to that grief project).

A wise recovery mantra I used again and again was this: THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH.

We are faced with a similar dilemma in these politically fraught times. If you are a progressive oriented person you are most likely feeling fear, loss of hope, and/or anger at current events. The ground and foundation of our country is feeling shaky and uncertain.

You could say that we are collectively in the deep end.

My thoughts are this - Contrary to what I might normally say. Do not feel pressure to make art about your emotions or develop an arts project in response. Don’t jump into social action if you are unclear, or move to Canada, Europe, South America….etc. Especially if you are feeling fearful, panicked or completely bewildered.

I want to suggest instead that it is time to SHORE UP first - do things that give you comfort and reassurance. Lean into the joys of life. Be with people who you can be real and honest with, and that make you laugh at the absurdity of it all. If shoring up is painting, baking, or dancing - do that. If it is laying on the couch with a good book on Sunday - take time for this.

When things settle inside, and there is more clarity and energy for what is calling you - ACT.

And then shore up again - ACT - shore up - repeat.

This is an unpredictable time with many unknowns collectively, and you also may be going through personal shifts or losses that amplify your emotional response.

How can we pace ourselves to sustain the journey?

How can we best stay in good shape so we can successfully protect and cultivate what is most important personally and collectively?

Take strength from people you admire, people of courage.

When I am in good shape, I know I am in a much better position to act according to my values and my best interest.